FAIRNESS, CLARITY, AND TRUST: How Leaders Handle a Difficult Employee Effectively
- TheFitProfessional1
- Oct 31
- 7 min read
By Paul T. Ayres
Executive Summary (Read Time: 1 Minute)
Handling a difficult employee is one of the truest tests of leadership. Effective leaders don’t lead from emotion; rather, they lead from principle. The goal is not to “win” the conversation but to protect culture, credibility, and trust. Fairness, delivered with clarity and empathy, builds the trust that sustains a team long after a hard moment has passed. This article explores how to manage conduct issues with discipline and respect, including an example conversation demonstrating how to hold someone accountable while reinforcing values and trust; these are just two of the hallmarks of effective leadership.
What is ‘fair’ anyway? Honestly, ‘fair’ has always bugged me.
It seems there are as many definitions of fairness as there are human beings on this planet. I’ve used an interview question quite often that includes having the candidate define ‘fair.’ Try it. You’ll soon agree there is not a lot of alignment on this definition. Often, the drift in the meaning of fair between professionals can, in fact, set up problems in performance, relationships, culture, and even in building trust over time. It’s so frustrating! To that end, my objective is to get you thinking about just how some simple language and definitions, yours, not the new employees ' or society's, can be productive in managing your employees. And how critical it is in establishing and maintaining leadership. I don’t consider this an end-all type of article, but surely I think your reading of it will start your thoughts in motion to address similar issues in your organization.
The Real Meaning of Fair
As leaders, we often confuse being “fair” with being agreeable or avoiding conflict. In truth, fairness is not about appeasement; rather, it’s about balance between truth and respect. When applied with steadiness and empathy, fairness becomes the foundation of trust. It tells your people, “You’ll get honesty, consistency, and respect here.”
Fairness is both operational and emotional:
For the leader, it means integrity. Being able to stand behind your word and your actions.
For the organization, it creates reliability and alignment. When everyone knows the same rules apply to all, trust in leadership grows.
For the individual, fairness communicates that while accountability is required, dignity is preserved. It allows employees to engage without defensiveness because they sense consistency and respect. We cannot get away from judgment. Judgement is management’s ability to weigh facts and make decisions with respect to organizational goals. When decisions are consistent, alignment results. Judgement is not somehow against the employee. It is for the organization. Employees soon realize the momentum created is good for the organization AND themselves.
Fairness, consistently practiced, becomes the quiet engine of trust that sustains high-performing teams.
The Equation for Fair
The engineer in me requires a simple reference formula. This works pretty well, not perfect, but drives good thinking: Fair = (Clarity + Consistency + Empathy) x Integrity. It applies to all of us at all levels of the organization.
Let's detail the variables in this equation by adding some definitions and implied use:
FAIR = (Clarity + Consistency + Empathy) x Integrity
Let’s visualize it conceptually:
🔹 Clarity
Defines what is expected and why. No one can meet a standard they don’t understand. Clarity eliminates ambiguity: “clarity is kindness.”
Formula element: truth in plain language
Outcome: understanding
🔹 Consistency
Ensures that what you say and what you do align every time. Consistency makes fairness predictable. Predictability helps to create trust.
Formula element: repetition of principle and behavior over time
Outcome: credibility
🔹 Empathy
Guides how clarity is delivered. Empathy keeps the human in the process. Sympathy does not excuse, but respect for the individual’s dignity. Empathy creates connection without weakening accountability.
Formula element: emotional awareness + composed delivery
Outcome: respect
🔹 Integrity (the multiplier)
Integrity amplifies everything. Without it, clarity, consistency, and empathy lose power. Integrity is doing what you said you’d do, all the time, and even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s why it multiplies rather than adds.
Formula element: congruence of values and action
Outcome: trust and cultural stability
🔸 Put Together:
Fairness isn’t static; it’s a dynamic relationship of clear expectations, consistent behavior, empathetic communication, and integrity in execution.
FAIR = (Clarity + Consistency + Empathy) x Integrity
When all factors are present and strong → Trust increases exponentially. If any element drops to zero → Fairness collapses.
Fairness is a state of being. It’s a cultural element. It is not necessary to discuss fairness when the culture makes sure it's theirs. It is also not necessarily received and perceived the same by different employees. The aforementioned elements of ‘fair’ are still perceived differently. Often in arrears post-action. If the employee doesn’t like the outcome or the action, we may have an individual’s misinterpretation start a collapse in their mind. Yes, it's possible. And probable that your employees see this differently. Not everyone will agree with all you do. This approach minimizes those outliers. You won’t eliminate them.
The Scenario: Conduct That Crossed the Line
Imagine this situation: an employee loses their temper, uses profanity with a customer, hangs up, and later directs profanity toward a peer and another in-person customer.
This isn’t a performance issue; it’s a conduct issue. Conduct violations go beyond missed targets; they attack the culture’s foundation. They damage relationships, credibility, and internal trust.
In this moment, effective leadership demands discipline, composure, and clarity. All of these were delivered through empathy, not emotion. I know I’ve been ‘shaken' mad before. Get away from it if you can. The cooling-off period will be productive. However, work hard to develop the skill to follow this approach. Believe me, it’s a work in progress. Honestly, does anybody master this? I’m still working to perfect my performance here!
Fairness as an Emotional Contract
Before the conversation, an effective leader prepares mentally and emotionally. This is not the time for frustration or anger. The focus must be on principle, professionalism, and protection of trust.
Fairness is an emotional contract. It’s a promise that everyone, regardless of role, will be treated with honesty, consistency, and respect. The leader who honors that promise becomes trustworthy, because people know their word is good. Trust, once earned, is reinforced through consistency over time.
Fairness done right builds trust; fairness done inconsistently destroys it.
How the Conversation Might Begin
(Tone: calm, measured, factual, and empathetic but never cold, never emotional.)
“Thanks for meeting with me today. I want you to know this conversation is about fairness and clarity, not punishment. You deserve to know exactly where things stand, what happened, and what’s expected from here.
We had a serious issue today. You used profanity with a customer, ended the call, and then used profanity again with a peer and another customer. This conduct is unacceptable and inconsistent with our values.
Fairness means you understand both the seriousness of this behavior and the impact it has on others — on our customers, your colleagues, and the trust we work to build as a team. It also means you’ll have the opportunity to share what happened from your perspective. I want to hear it.
But I also need to be clear: my responsibility is to protect our culture, the entire employee population, and the trust others place in this organization. That’s why we’re addressing this directly today.”
Then pause.
That silence, delivered with composure, is a mark of respect. Listening, without defensiveness or judgment, is part of fairness.
Now, I’ll be the first to say my illustration can use some work. I’d love to know your thoughts. Please use it to spur efforts to improve it and build the skills. My objective is to get you to start the process. Read on.
After Listening: The Leader Re-centers on Trust
Once the employee shares their perspective, an effective leader brings the focus back to principle and alignment:
“Thank you for explaining that. I appreciate your honesty. But this behavior cannot continue. Losing composure with customers or peers breaks trust. Trust that we’ve worked hard to build internally and externally.
Fairness now means clarity. You’ll have one defined opportunity to correct this and demonstrate behavior consistent with our standards. We’ll document expectations and next steps together. But it’s important you understand that if this happens again, it will result in termination. That’s not about punishment. That’s about integrity. We all must consistently be doing what we say we’ll do. Our performance expectations in this area are not new, and we’ve communicated them to you before.
I believe in direct, clear, and empathetic communication. You’ll always know where you stand, and that’s what fairness looks like here.”
This approach does three essential things:
Protects the organization’s trust with employees and customers.
Respects the individual’s dignity by providing clarity and opportunity.
Builds credibility because what the leader says is consistent with what the leader does. And, of course, it can be improved. What would you change?
Clarity Delivered with Empathy
Clarity is kindness, but delivery determines whether it lands as truth or an attack.
Empathetic delivery means you speak with calm authority and measured tone, not sympathy or apology. Sympathy softens accountability; empathy strengthens connection.
Leaders who deliver clarity with empathy elevate trust. Those who confuse empathy with sympathy weaken it. This distinction helps to define what effective leadership is in practice.
Why This Is Effective Leadership
Handling difficult employees is not about confrontation, rather, it’s about reinforcing the standard that protects trust in the organization and its processes, culture, and purpose. Effective leaders build cultures where fairness, consistency, and follow-through define credibility.
This kind of leadership produces stability. Teams learn that expectations are real, accountability is universal, and feedback is truth delivered with respect and appropriate empathy. Over time, trust compounds. People perform better because they know where they stand, and they know the leader means what they say.
“Trust is built when clarity meets consistency. Trust is sustained when we do what we say we’ll do.”
That goes beyond management and helps to develop leadership.
Key Takeaways
Fairness builds trust. Consistency, honesty, and respect together create confidence in leadership.
Clarity is kindness. Organizations experience this when clarity is delivered with empathy, not sympathy. Effective leaders express truth calmly, directly, and respectfully.
Trust requires consistency. When you do what you say, every time, you create an environment of dependability and professionalism.
Three Actions to Apply Before Your Next Conduct or Performance Discussion
Anchor yourself. Before meeting, regulate your own emotions. Remember your goal is not to win the conversation, rather it’s to protect culture, uphold standards, convey respect, and preserve trust.
Lead with fairness and clarity. Open the discussion by stating your intent using fairness, clarity, and respect. Define the behavior, describe the impact, and invite perspective.
Follow through consistently. Document expectations, follow up, and deliver on your word. Doing what you say is what transforms fairness into trust.
Closing Thought: The Trust Multiplier
Trust is not built in grand gestures. It’s built in these moments. When a leader addresses misconduct directly, fairly, and empathetically, the organization sees integrity in motion. That consistency becomes contagious.
That is effective leadership — where clarity, fairness, and empathy come together to build a culture of trust.
For more insights and tools to strengthen your leadership and professional fitness, visit www.thefitprofessional1.com.
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